Hello and welcome to a new year with us, your dear Sneer Campaign. We thought to switch it up this year and tell you about our cats first, instead of sneaking them in later when you most assuredly weren’t expecting them there — usually the best method.

Since our inception as an online entertainment entity and real life headquarters of sneering, we have always had cats around. The magic number has been six, but at one point, we were caring for about seven — both indoors and out. The past year or two has created a big change in the lineup, due to unexpected tragedies and life being too hard to endure sometimes. We had to say goodbye to four of our best friends and one acquaintance. For a long while, we were down to just a measly three cats despite having two houses. It seemed as empty and unrewarding as it sounds, I promise. But now, we are back up to five!

It is high time that we present to you the new, always open-mouth meowing, youthful cat faces of Sneer Campaign — first with a refresher course on the classics that survived our possible-curse.

The Corndog Squad

Haircut — Dollissa’s cat in heart and soul from way back in Newark Days, this small densely-furred tabby cat is now our oldest cat. She is cranky now, and will be turning 14 soon. She is always seeking warm places to nap. She still demands kibble and treats any time she sees any person standing. She believes that these extra snacks are her right, even though Dollissa rarely gives in.

Tuff Ghost — Another native of Newark, New Jersey, Tuffo is more or less the same as he ever was. He’s still afraid, but after he was lost outside for two weeks in 2018, he is a little more appreciative of us. He is a little less constantly-in-hiding. He still likes to rub our shins with his forehead when he is hungry, which is all the time except for the ten minutes after he eats a meal.

Custard — Custard is still very afraid of strangers and pretty uppity all the rest of the time. We can’t touch her too much because she divas out on us. She isn’t malicious towards any of us, she just sets boundaries! That’s nothing we can complain about. She scampers like a little reindeer and prowls like an African Wild Dog.

New Cats!

Swizzle — Dollissa found her while walking home last June. This little cartoon cat greeted her and then followed her ten blocks back to our HQ to live happily ever after. She gave us a solid case of fleas, and then moved into H2, where she has been nothing but a Perfect Companion. She can be shy with strangers, but she is otherwise a sequel to Zesta in attitude and mannerisms, although she doesn’t have unbelievable little stick legs. Also her tail spins around rapidly when she is petted. It is the strangest thing we have seen.

??? — As is usually the case, we are having a hard time naming a new cat. Naming pets is one of the most serious things you can do! Yes, we know we have had cats named after crackers and haircuts, but it’s serious. This cat, acquired in mid-December, 2021, is our first who isn’t a stray exactly. My niece works with a girl whose neighbors tossed this little cat, then named Autumn, outside because she and the new dog they brought home didn’t get along. This is a case of bad luck turning out to be great luck, because now she’s with us!

This newest cat is incredibly sweet, and the smallest cat we have had. She feels as light as a little feather, and she loves being on you, and purring loudly, and everyone equally. She seems unafraid of people and welcomes every new face she meets! Her first veterinary appointment is in February, and her name on the paperwork is Apple Pie — but we have been calling her everything we can think of from Taffy to Sugarplum to Acorn to Honeynugget — nicknames she will probably keep. But that is how we lead to this plea to you:

We will have to settle on a real name at some point, so you might as well be part of the decision making process, too!