Maybe everyone reading this has had a time of life where you just don’t want to see people, or maybe simply to not be seen. Maybe this even happens to you every few days. Isolation gets a lot of naysay from the loud crowd people who fear silence in case they would have to confront their own thoughts, but those of us in the know know that our own thoughts can be close friends, and maybe even bitter frenemies. There’s never a dull moment inside your head, or inside your home, for some of us. And because of that, we may slip into a comfort zone from which it is very difficult to find the desire to escape.

Seclusion is often a delicious dream that can become a worrisome nightmare once you pass the limit of what is “healthy.” Or at least, so “The Experts” seem to suggest! They start to throw around terms like “social anxiety” and “agoraphobia” and possibly even “misanthropy.” How can you tell the difference? Is your sneer actually a mask used to pretend that you are disdainful of society, when in fact you are actually ill at ease with it? That is a conversation you must have with yourself, and if you realize that your aversion is a problem for you, well, that’s what this article is for — and probably licensed therapy!

After you realize that you haven’t changed your clothes in days and your food pantry is looking sad and dusty, you must return to society in order to cope — if only for a limited time. But I do not recommend just plunging yourself back into it. Much like exercising after decades of sloth, you should not risk sore muscles and injury of the social kind. That is how you burn out quickly and return to solitude before you’ve even properly emerged from it!

Become Prepared!

Just like physical exercise, you must begin by doing some warm up routines.

• Wait for a sunny day and open a curtain.
• Wait for a warm day and open a window.
• Change into different outfit even if you aren’t going to go outside.
• Put on good music which energizes and inspires you.
• Put on a YouTube video that shows people outside, in crowds of various kinds.

But don’t watch any flash mobs or improv actors — that’s enough to keep you inside until the end of time!

Begin Commenting On The Internet

I know, I know. Comments on the internet are one of the worst parts of modern life, but I’m not suggesting that you read any! I’m not recommending that you give time or thought to any of these malignant, disgusting comments that are pouring from the malformed brains of twisted numbskulls — or bots simulating those kinds of people. Heavens, no! I only mean internet comments that belong to pictures and status updates that your closest friends have uploaded, sharing news of their lives.

Choose the friends who have carefully curated their own online friend group so that you aren’t suddenly in conflict with their delusional, political older relative, coworker, or elementary school acquaintance. You can choose to respond, if spoken to, or you can immediately opt to have no notifications concerning what you’ve said — go at your own pace.

Reply To The Texts You Have Been Ignoring

Woops, would you look at that? The backlog of unanswered texts and DMs is even bigger than your guilty conscience thought! Most likely, these neglected friends know you well enough that you can just reappear without much fanfare or explanation. You can issue a small apology if you feel moved to do so, but don’t feel too badly about who you are. They understand.

However, maybe before winter (both literal and metaphorical) descended upon your life, you had had a burst of social enthusiasm and made new friends, perhaps under the guidance of our excellent guide on the matter. But maybe those new friends are alienated now. Maybe you burned a bridge and didn’t even know it! Well, bridges can be mended, and anyone who understands your moods and ways so early in the game has already proven to be an excellent new friend! Success!

Step Outside For A Few Minutes, Increasing Daily

Hopefully your interest in returning to society coincides with springtime also returning to society. This is a little harder to do if you live where winter is grey, rainy, or snowy. At the first sight of real sunlight, step out of doors. Breathe that relatively fresh air. Notice the little birds and things. When you begin to feel overwhelmed, head back inside. You’ve done enough.

The next sunny day can lure you out once again, a little longer this time. Notice that things are a little greener, slightly leafier. Detect flying insects fluttering around. Some of them are pretty. Are there snails? Lizards? What are the ants up to? Start to throw in inclement weather days, too. Eventually, you will begin to crave this activity because you have begun to appreciate little things!

Speak Aloud

If you live with pets, you can probably skip this section because you talk to them nonstop. However, if you are truly all by yourself, you might not have thought to use your voice in weeks or months! Say something, anything. Do it right now! Say, “Hello,” right to this screen. You have to begin somewhere. Read this section out loud to yourself. Strengthen your vocal cords. Practice words all the time. Don’t be shy!

Here is a gentle list of gentle phrases and sounds you can build from:

• Oh, hello there.
• This sure is some weather.
• Stop right there, buster.
• I can’t believe people are still driving cars.
• [natural-seeming laughter]
• Where’s the party at?

Go To A Place

If you are sickly feeling, I encourage you to go to a park — any park, any size. Sometimes just the outdoor stroll to get there (or drive I guess, if you are of that persuasion or location) can bring you out of your delicious shell. If you are hungry, I can’t recommend a cafe, diner, or grocery store enough. There are all kinds of places you can go to spend money, and some places that you can go free of charge. Make a list and go to them all. You will be outside of the home! Bold steps.

Do That Again, But Also Speak Aloud

You will probably have muttered an order or a thank you already in that last step, but this time you will use your voice to communicate even more! Try a bit of the ol’ Small Talk. Do a little chitty chat. Some people claim to hate small talk but it is there in our human nature in order to indicate friendly connection without having to commit to a level of relationship beyond Strangers.

Use the experience you have gained from that list I gave you a short time ago to begin an interaction. Greet. Comment on the weather, or the surroundings. Laugh when you should, at the level that matches the situation. Relish in the idea that you are just engaging in pointless interactions that mean nothing and might possibly annoy the other person. But this is about YOU and YOUR recovery. I’ll have an article to help those other people some other day.

See A Friend In The Most Low-Stakes Way Possible — You’re Cured!

If you are constantly falling into bouts of seclusion, you probably have a set of friends who understand this and are glad to welcome you back whenever you resurface. I know this is a lot for me to assume, though. So how about: Surely you must know people, even if they are related to you, who will consent to being around you in real life. Contact one and ask if they would like to come over to your place and, I don’t know, watch some movie? Or go to an unpopular museum. Do you both play old video games? Do that, like the old days. What do people do together? Go eat. As you can see, I’m an expert at this part. I’ve been cured before, plenty of times…

Whatever you do, then repeat! Then tell me how you did it!

Sometimes you feel cured for a day, then immediately backslide. That’s okay. Just circle back, rebuild momentum, and keep going at your own pace. Also bookmark this article for reference and guidance for the next time you realize all of the sudden that you’ve become an unintentional hermit yet again.